Begin Again
by SpyKid18
Summary: Cristina Yang returns to Seattle Grace with a hangover, the loss of another mentor and an estranged husband. As her and Owen are thrown back together, old tensions arise. Can things ever return to normal? At this point, do either of them even know what normal is? CROWEN


Begin Again

She drank until she couldn't see straight. It was half the bottle, maybe even more – it was a miracle she even made it to Meredith's house. But she had scribbled it on the back of the receipt from the liquor store. The cabdriver had looked at her a bit strangely when she hailed him with a raised bottle of tequila, but when she handed him a hundred dollar bill and slurred for him to keep it before stretching out on the back seat, he didn't argue.

It was a relief to see Meredith on the other side of that door. After weeks with unfamiliar faces, it was nice to see one that she recognized. Meredith pulled her into a hug and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

"Lexie's dead," Meredith said, a finality in her voice. Against her hair, Cristina murmured, "Everyone's dead."

Meredith pulled her into the house and closed the door behind her. Cristina's vision was still blurred from the tequila and she staggered over to the couch, dropping onto it heavily.

"What happened?" Meredith asked, coming next to her. Before answering Cristina pulled the bottle of tequila out of her bag and took a swig.

"He's dead," she said, chasing the admission with another swig. "Dr. Thomas. The other you. He was my other you, and now he's dead."

"Cristina," Meredith murmured, slipping her arm around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry."

"He was brilliant," Cristina slurred. "Brilliant. Pig-headed." She took another swig of tequila. "The best teacher I ever had. And here I was thinking death was only in Seattle Grace." She shook her head. "It's us, Mer. I thought it was this place, but it's not. It's us."

"You should get some sleep," Meredith said, gently prying the bottle from Cristina's hand.

"Yeah," Cristina mumbled, already shifting her weight to the side. Meredith stood up and went over to the closet, pulling out a blanket. She laid it over Cristina, making sure it covered her feet, and then leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"If you need to vomit, remember the bathroom is right down the hallway."

Cristina grunted in response, turning her head toward the couch cushion. Smiling slightly, Meredith stood up and went upstairs. A few minutes later, Cristina was asleep.

* * *

Owen didn't mind the trailer. It was a decent enough space and fit his new bachelordom pretty well. It was isolated, though. More so than he liked, so he was happy to find any excuse to venture out into society. This time it was one of Zola's toys. He saw it at one of the nurse's stations on his way out the night before, probably from one of the various doctors Zola had been passed off to during the night, and he picked it up with the intention to return it the next morning.

He knocked on the door and Meredith answered, her eyes widening when she saw him.

"Owen-"

"I'm just dropping off Zola's toy," he said, holding up the toy. "I found it last night and…"

He trailed off when he noticed a sleeping form on the couch behind Meredith. He recognized her immediately. It was the hair – he would recognize her hair anywhere. He went to move forward but Meredith squared her form in front of the door, placing her hands on either side of the frame.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Meredith said in a low voice.

"What is she doing here?" he asked, his eyes not leaving Cristina on the couch. "Why – is everything okay? Did something happen?"

Meredith hesitated for a moment before telling him, "Dr. Thomas, her mentor, died yesterday."

"He died?"

Meredith nodded. "I don't know the details. She wasn't exactly in a state to tell me much. But she's upset, so I really don't want anything to make it worse."

Owen's jaw tightened. "You think I would try to make it worse?"

Meredith sighed. "No, I don't. But I don't know how she'll react to seeing you. I think for now it's best if she doesn't see you."

Owen wanted to argue further, but he saw there was no getting past Meredith. She was fiercely protective of Cristina, and while on her home turf, he wasn't going to get anywhere.

"Will you let me know how she is?" Owen asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll let you know."

* * *

It turned out he didn't have to wait for Meredith. That afternoon he stopped for coffee at the shop across from the hospital and she was standing in line. She was wearing a large puffy coat, her hair a mass of curls on the top of her head. He went to say hello, but then found he couldn't settle on what exactly to say. Hello seemed too informal. Anything more felt like too much. He settled on her name.

"Cristina."

He saw her shoulders tense before she turned around, the look on her face surprising him. She looked almost as uncomfortable as he felt, moistening her lips before saying, "Owen, hi."

"I think that might be the largest coat I've ever seen," he said, an attempt at levity. She smiled slightly and said, "It's cold in Minnesota. Meredith told me you stopped by this morning."

He nodded, unsure how to respond. "Uh, yeah."

"I went to the apartment," Cristina began. "To see you, but you weren't there."

That was surprising. He never thought she would reach out to him.

"I'm staying at the trailer," Owen told her.

Cristina moved forward with the line, the sleeves of her coat making swishing noises as they brushed against the length of the coat. She made her order and Owen stepped forward, telling the barrista he would cover both of them. She didn't fight him, and he wondered whether this was good or bad. When they stepped over to the side to wait for their drinks he said, "I'm sorry about Dr. Thomas. He sounded like a fine doctor."

Cristina's eyes darkened and she said, "He was. One of the best."

"If you need to talk-"

"I'm fine," she interrupted, gripping the edge of the counter with her hands. She didn't like him being caring and nice. After everything she had done – in Seattle and Minnesota – she had no right to that.

"Well, if you ever are not fine, just know I'm there. Regardless of what we are…" he paused a bit on that, swallowing hard. "…whatever, Cristina, I'm here for you."

He was too good. Too good and too nice.

"I slept with someone else," she said in a low voice, staring at the counter. She looked up at him and his eyes were dark, jaw tense. "He was another doctor at the hospital. The head of the department."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think you should know," she said. "Before you go ahead and want to be all kumbaya again."

"Well, thank you for the full disclosure."

They went silent for a few moments as they waited for their drinks.

"I hated myself," Cristina added, refusing to look at him as she said it. "For the sake of full disclosure, I hated myself for every second of it."

Their drinks came up and Owen took both of them, handing hers to her with an unreadable look.

"Where are you headed now?" he asked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket as they walked outside.

"Seattle Grace to hopefully get a job," she said.

He glanced down at her. "So, you're staying here?"

She nodded, brown eyes meeting his own. "I'm staying."

**A/N: Lovely Crowen shippers, let's here your thoughts!**


End file.
